Mohammad is a driver from the state of Utter Prasesh in north India. He’s moved to Mumbai in hopes of making money to support his wife and daughter. He and his family are Muslim which Mohammad is very proud of. I’ve known Mohammad for three years, met him through my friend Megan (read more about her on her blog http://blondieinbombay.blogspot.in) who found him and knew he was a keeper. He has met my visiting friends, my parents, is always willing to take me where I need to go, and is full of questions about “Mad’am Megan” and “my country.” Today was no different. I needed to go to the Japanese Consolate to submit paperwork for my pending work visa and Mohammad drove me there. Here is a transcript of the hilarious conversation I had with Mohammad this morning, as so many of them are.
It went a little like this:
M: How many brothers you have?
M: How many sisters?
A: None. Just me and my brother.
M: Oh, father only has two babies.
A: Yep. Only 2.
M: How many marriage you make?
A: I’ve not yet been married Mohammad.
M: You are not making any marriage?
M: How many years your brother is?
A: Two years younger than me.
M: Oh, he is 43?
A: No. I am not 45 Mohammad. I am 38.
M: Ok, so he is 32?
A: He’s 36.
M: Is he making marriage?
A: Nope. He’s a musician.
M: So father not making marriage for you?
A: Nope. In my country, we marry for love.
M: Megan mad’am making marriage?
A: Not that I know of, no.
M: Megan mad’am also 45 years?
A: No Mohammad. Megan mad’am isn’t 45 years old. She is younger than me.
M: Oh, so 42?
A: No Mohammad. I am 38, and Megan is younger than me. So she isn’t 42.
M: How much father is paying for your making marriage?
A: He’s not Mohammad. I am not making marriage right now. And, my father won’t pay for my wedding.
M: Megan mad’am’s father making marriage for her?
A: Probably not.
M: I am making party in UP. You coming and Megan mad’am coming. I making husband for you.
A: So we would share a husband?
M: No! I am making brothers.
A: You are making brothers? Don’t you think they’ll be a little young for us?
M: (no response)
A: Because if you and your wife are making them, they aren’t born yet which means they would be way too young for us.
M: (no response)
A: Nevermind. Thanks for the ride Mohammad.
M: Welcome mad’am